I smell stomach acid.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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