Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
