I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
