Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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