you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
