how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
