google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
it hurts more in the daytime
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
