I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
