I just cut my nipple shaving
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
