didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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