I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
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