chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
