that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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