I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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