Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
