He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
