Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
