if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
