mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
