Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
