help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
