don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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