Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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