So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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