Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
