I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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