I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
