Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
