I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
