; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
