She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
