Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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