Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
