Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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