i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
