Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
