Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It's blow job season.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
