i would punch a child for taco bell
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
