My friends, they love my intelligence
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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