I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
