Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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