I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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