Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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