so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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