but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
