hotel room ftw
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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