that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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