I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
