Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
