I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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