porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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